Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
