Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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