You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
