is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
