Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
