I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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