two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
