Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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