The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
