It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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