Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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