he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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