this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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