I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
No...this little piggys going to the bar
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Do you remember whose house we're in?
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