The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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