Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
