every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
