her vagine was all disorganized.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
how does that bad decision feel?
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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