ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
