is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
