Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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