he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
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