Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
