Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
