I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Randomize
