i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
