Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
