I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Randomize
