im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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