The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
