My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
