So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
