You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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