READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
