I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
