the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
