I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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