Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
