i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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