OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
