I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
