my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
