so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
