I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
