I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
