I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
