Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Randomize
