Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
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