Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
the gays at disneyland are vicious
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
