Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
only you would photoshop your dick
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
