Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
