I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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