my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Randomize
